Curses, Hexes, Charms... And the Tantric Path of the Divine Mother
- horusbrightsoma
- Aug 12
- 5 min read
The mesmerizing Red Tara, with her bow and arrows of flowers, came into my life around 5 years ago. She was sent by someone I knew, to wreak havoc in my life.
And it worked.
It happened very gradually and subtly, over the course of one year. Despite having experience from my energy healing days and training in entity extraction, there was a part of me that was in denial. I kept telling myself that hexes were not real. Or perhaps, that was part of how the charm worked. I had no idea then. I was in a daze.
But I knew something was not right. The people closest to me were somehow entangled in strange romantic tribulations. I myself slowly lost passion and creative drive; I began to doubt everything; my hair starting falling, and I wouldn’t notice at first because I was also falling into a deep state of depression – something I have not experienced for over a decade. Everything slowly got darker and darker.
Two weeks before I was supposed to fly to India to meet my Teacher, I almost cancelled my plans. “Why am I going there again? What for?” But through the grace of whatever little sadhana and kriya practices I had then, I went anyway. That was when everything started to unravel.
It was not even something I brought-up consciously. In the mountains, my Teacher was having a look at my jyotish chart, and showed me where my vulnerabilities were, and that “No matter what someone else chooses to do to you, that is their karma. How you choose to respond, that is your dharma.”
It reminded me of my previous teacher from my Egyptian Alchemy and Healing days, the late EJ. That is what she sould say too. Clear the karmic cords between this person, you, and this whole situation.
My Teacher then proceeded to describe a person, and immediately I knew who it was. And then she continued to describe 2 other people as well. And also I knew who they were.
“But there will be no retaliation, and if you want my blessings then we shall not be using weapons. No astras here.” She gave me a list of 3 things to do, along with a simple sadhana to the Goddess Durga. This would turn out to be one of the greatest gifts I have ever received in this lifetime.
Just sincerely preparing yourself to be of service to the Divine Mother. It was surprisingly sattvic, considering my Teacher’s reputation…
3 days later, still in the mountains, I would dream of the goddess, instructing me to return to Nepal and climb the steps of this place called ‘Pathibhara’. "You will know me by my feet" was her message. I texted my friends in Nepal to arrange for that for the coming months.
Ounce by ounce, I would begin to regain some clarity, strength, and inspiration. It had become very challenging to work and hold space, and I had greatly cut down on my own offerings by then. My family knew something was not right, but didn’t know how to help, and I am forever grateful that they were simply supportive, but never intrusive.
Right after Pathibhara, which unveiled so much for me, I would meet my second teacher, the one who would soon initiate me into the Devi Mahatmya and the Sri Vidya tradition. It was also during this trip, between meditation and reverie, I would catch glimpses of a dancing red dakini (which was clearly not Durga). The face could not be seen clearly. She was the one with the flower arrows to intoxicate the mind and, for the careless, drive you insane by your own desires. By then, I was given a different sadhana to do, unrelated to this situation (or so I thought), one pertaining to the sweet and golden form of the Divine Mother.
The alchemy happened without me realizing it. The transmutation of one energy into a higher, refined form. I've heard it a thousand times whilst in Egypt. Towards the end of another year of this sadhana, I would return to India (Prayagraj, this time, at the great confluence of sacred rivers). And one thing became clear, the red dakini was transforming into bright gold. Her mesmerizing flowered arrows were turning into lotus buds, glowing with light.
When I finally brought my first group of students back to Pathibhara a few months later, more (blood-related) omens revealed themselves, and I knew my karmic task was almost complete. One month later, I bumped into an old acquaintance in a restaurant, and they told me a random piece of news, unprompted: “By the way, do you know so and so? They had to go for a massive arm surgery because of this crazy nerve issue…”
Constantly holding the bow and shooting arrows at others is a very tiring act. Especially if one is under-trained to hold such energies. In the end, one will pay the cost. I understood then the wisdom of my Teachers.
There must be some underlying karma and subtle energetics for something to take shape and happen in our reality. For those who have the awareness and capacity, that is what we need to address, the hidden roots, and not the outer symptoms. Along the way we often discover as well, how we may have played a part in those same energetics in a previous incarnation.
Do we perpetuate the cycle? Or put ego aside, and choose to end it? That too, requires great support, strength, and the Divine Mother’s grace. Falling back into old and familiar patterns and reactions is always the easier path.
You’re probably wondering who the ‘golden goddess’ is. I had no idea too, for the first 3 years I assumed it was Lakshmi. It was only somewhere between revisiting Tibet with my mother (a whole other blessings) and then Upper Mustang on my own, a few months later, that She finally revealed herself.
It was not Vajravarahi as I initially suspected. With the most luminous, sunlit smiling face, Her name descended into my understanding:
‘Lhamo Ozer Chenma’
Goddess of the Brilliant Rays. She who removes inner and outer darkness. Marici, Mother of the Sun.
Also: She who restores lost or stolen vital energy (kid you not!)
The workings of the Divine Mother is an intricate weave within a multitude of weaves. The fathomless tapestry of Mahamaya. It is mysterious, beautiful – sometimes wrought with fear and uncertainty – but often too, most bountiful when you least expect it.
Thank you for reading.
P.S. If you feel called to learn more about Lhamo Ozer Chenma - She is one of the 5 White Taras I will be presenting under 'Mighty Alchemy of the 21 Taras: Cultivating the Elixir of Harmony, Peace, and Profound Insight'. Check it out here
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