top of page

Death of the Old Self: New Beginnings, Gratitude & Goodbyes.

We grow older – but are we any wiser?

Today marks the end of my 1-year self-induced initiation process, which began last year during the Full Moon in Scorpio around the same time as now.

I had entered this initiation process for various reasons, one of it mainly being to gather new information for my upcoming book, and set the foundation for it to manifest. However, to enter and sustain such a process of ‘inner-journeying, 3 things had to be done and developed simultaneously:

· To withdraw my energies. This meant I had to do less workshops and circles. Expend less energies on others. Smaller classes.

· To strengthen my physical body. This obviously allows more energy to flow through me and to ground.

· To deepen my own spiritual practice. This was why I had developed a ‘sun moon kriya’, merging the Egyptian Neteru into the yoga practices that I normally do.

All three above would mean that purifications and clearings – spiritual detoxification as much as physical – is intensified.

Over the course of the year, especially over the last 3 months leading-up to now, I uncovered the emotional bond I had with food. The more you understand your body, the less emotional you become with food. As you begin to see the transformation and experience the goodness of REAL FOODS (greens, protein, good fats), and as you literally become stronger and sharper… I realized that I did not want to go back to where I was before.

To my Old Self – thank you, good bye.

3 Thank You’s

I want to thank three persons in my life that has held the beautiful fires of transformation for me, steadily, over the years.

1. Eric, my personal trainer, for treating my physical body so much better than I used to treat it, patiently waiting for me to understand and ‘get it’. After 4 years – I am just beginning to understand and truly APPRECIATE my own body.

I feel so ‘loved and protected’ when you lie to me about 100 lunges and somehow, it gets accomplished before I could protest or complain. Or when you keep adding weights quietly on the dumbbell, knowing that I am ready to push further even before I would ever guess that I was ready.

So much inner child healing for me! Hence, the initial emotional resistance with food, and my inability to fully take responsibility for my own physical wellbeing.

Well, glad to say, things have changed now. I am no longer an emotional hostage to food.

2. Kavitha, the one who brought yoga to me and so many others. For always trying your humanly best to illustrate Ahimsa. For all our ‘coffee table talk’ (cos we don’t have a red table)

Without being shown the power of consistent practice, I doubt that my own personal journeys and inner-world revelations would have been so much accelerated.

3. Aaron, the friend everyone needs and deserves – especially if you want to walk the spiritual path. Aaron is the mirror in the corner reflecting all the things that you do and all the things you have said, and then reflecting it back to you when you have forgotten who you are.

No, not everyone can take it, there is no room for ego and self-deception. But would you prefer to be lied to just to feel better about an illusion of yourself? Yes, evidently many people would! But it is ‘luxury’ I cannot afford if I want to continue flourishing in this path.


Every year comes with Goodbyes. Paths diverge, priorities change. Sometimes they say they “liked the old you better”; sometimes they get upset when you no longer fit into what they want you to be in their minds; or some just are not able to journey with you any further for whatever reason.

Whatever it may be, every relationship served its lesson. You may not like it, but it does teach you about who you are, it forces you to grow. As a Teacher to so many students, I do my best to impart what I know and have experienced – for some it works brilliantly, for some it may not. For those who did not have a positive experience with me, I am sorry, and I hope you find a teacher more suited for your needs.

And some, well, they are not here to learn.

Thanks to the internet and the new worldly happenings, I have had the opportunity to meet with SO MANY new students from all over the world! I look forward to our learning journey together.

And to all my old students, getting older and wiser (haha) – especially with the recent High Alchemy group – hang in there. My gratitude to all of you for still being here. All of you know how many have come and gone, some into bitterness. The fact that you are able to rise above all of that, including your own personal purification and daily challenges…

Reminds me to keep going, to work harder, to become stronger, healthier…. And more beautiful through all the layers of the Khat, Ka, and Sahu.

The Bright will never cease.

Today is the Death of the Old Self. Welcome to a New Age of Understanding, for all of us.

Om Shanti Om.


35 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page