Updated: Apr 29
Hey You, Happy Birthday
Every year on your birthday, the sun returns to the same place in the sky. Hence the term ‘solar return’. Spiritually, it represents learning, transformation, and rebirth. Failing which, one repeats the patterns of the previous year/s perpetually until the lessons are mastered.
The path of the Spiritual Initiate is wrought with trials and initiations. In the ancient days, the temples and Mystery Schools were available as spiritual training ground – in present day, with the absence of such facilities, most Initiates craft their daily lifestyle and experiences to become part of the necessary training required in the path of self-mastery.
My personal initiation began last year, just after my solar return day. This very initiation is just about coming to a close now, one year later. The signs were clear even from the start: a sudden, unexpected, and rather vicious ‘betrayal’ and slander by someone I was working with. Yet, synchronistically it was also the time my students and I were beginning to connect with the esoteric teachings of Goddess Serqet, the powerful Scorpion Goddess of poisons, shadow-healing, transmutation, and antidotes. Psychically, it felt like an ancient, festering wound had been ripped open, now ready to be dealt with and healed.
Over the months and months that followed, the layers of anguish, realizations, and lessons began to unfold.
Lesson 1: Do Not Expect Everyone To Be Happy For You
As you desire to go deeper within yourself, as you begin to unlock new experiences and new creative ventures, there will be people who will reflect your own self-doubt and self-questioning. Am I really good enough? Do I deserve this?
These inner demons play-out as people in your life who will try to pull you back down. They want the ‘old you’. Your change offends them. They will make demands until you learn the lesson of boundaries. They will slander you when you say "No, I have no more to give” and then still demand more.
But here’s the burning question: While we cannot expect everyone to be happy for us – are we still able to be happy and celebrate the successes of those who matter to us?
Ultimately, this trial also reveals to you who is meant to be or stay in your Soul Group, who are those individuals aligned with your new values, and able to grow together with you.
In contrast, those who are not ready to meet the new you, or who envy your newfound successes... will find a reason to remove themselves from your life – even if it means having to vilify you.
Over the years, I have become the 'villain' in many people's stories. When everything is going good and you bring them something they want, then they sing praises of you. But the moment you no longer fit into that projected 'character' they have of you in their mind – you become the bad guy. Is that fair? No. Can you do anything about it? No.
Walk away. Trying to ‘make things better’ will only make things worse! In the early days, I have tried to reach-out and it was still used against me. Lesson learned: You cannot reason with people who fight tooth and nail to stay broken.
Lesson 2: You Must Celebrate You
Take stock of how far you have come.
Make time to honour your journey, your victories and sacrifices. All the blood, sweat, and tears that only YOU know. Mark your milestones as responsibly as you would mark your past mistakes and lessons. That way, the burden of celebration does not fall on your significant others.
Self-reflection does not only mean to look at what’s ‘wrong’ with our actions and expectations – what can be improved upon, how to do better; Self-reflection also encompasses the practice of self-love and self-honouring. Not the be confused with ‘self-glorifying’ in a way that over-compensates for deep unworthiness – self-honouring means to allow the time and space to bask and enjoy the fruits of your labour, to give thanks and celebrate all that you have co-created with the Universe.
Today, I am reaping the rewards of having a stronger, healthier body! My mind is given a level of clarity like never before! I am no longer 'held hostage' by comfort foods.
And you do not have to wait for something BIG to justify celebration! Remember, joy is in the everyday wins. Small wins, over time, become HUGE.
Lesson 3: Honour Those Who Show Up For You
After the initial purification and the fog of raw emotions clear away, look around you: who are the ones who stood by you? Who are the ones who can understand your journey? Who are the ones prepared to receive the ‘new you’?
TELL them how much they mean to you, and HOW specifically they have helped you.
The proverbial ‘out with the old, in with the new’ applies to people as well. Be prepared to be pleasantly surprised though! Do not allow past experiences to make you bitter and shut your heart from those who truly want to stand with you – and often, this may include new individuals coming into your reality.
Stay vigilant, but also stay open. Today, I know that those who sit at my table are those who also possess the emotional maturity to be able self-assess and self-correct. Those who know when to seek truthful feedback and constructive criticism.
To be amongst equals is at once exciting, as much as it is calming. Peace is a commodity only understood by a level of maturity. The wounded will always find drama, or create strife, to feel significant and heard....
Lesson 4: Go Deeper into Unchartered Territory
Each initiation serves to unlock new experiences, which in turn, activate new abilities and knowledge. Allow this to happen by embracing what needs to unfold! Do not be afraid of the unknown. Do not be afraid of new possibilities, as strange and foreign as they might seem at first.
I remember, more than 15 years ago when I was terrified of public speaking, to address even a small group. But I understood the given opportunity, the trial by fire. After many failed, embarrassed attempts which lasted more than a year… I eventually got the hang of it.
I never knew, or expected, that part of higher purpose was to Teach.
I have always told myself in my inner dialogue that I was an ‘introvert’ – but I now shudder to think what would become of me had I not embraced that opportunity to speak and teach. Where would I be today?
Whatever difficulty you surmount will open doors which were once closed to you. Read this again: open doors which were once closed to you.
Every trial, every ‘betrayal’, every ‘setback’ – is a catalyst to something greater.
Lesson 5: Be Prepared to Lose Old Ways of Being
As you journey further in the spiritual path, synonymous with journeying deeper into who you are, you will have to get rid of things and conditions that are no longer needed in the new, improved you. Transformation can only happen when we cease old behavioural patterns to make way for new, healthier patterns.
Sometimes this might include people (as mentioned earlier), places, and habits that keep bringing you back to your former reality. More often than not, once you are truly ready to MOVE FORWARD, many of these old ways will start to dissolve and remove themselves from your immediate reality. Watch and be amazed.
The burning question: “Are you truly ready to let go?”
3 things I chose to let go this one year: milk, sugar-dependency, and ‘waiting’ for people to 'meet me halfway'.
Lesson 6: Honour Your Teachers
You may not agree with everything your teacher says, but honour the awakening that came through each human vessel.
In the esoteric traditions, knowledge and spiritual activations can only be transmitted from teacher to student (initiate), human to human, heart to heart. The ancient Egyptians called this sacred process ‘Sa Seseneb’, the transmission of divine spirit. For whatever reason, and whether we humanly like it or not, our Soul had chosen to receive knowledge, power, and grace from our specific teachers.
Every subsequent use of that knowledge or power taps into the lineage from which it came. To disregard and or sully the source well from which we STILL DRINK from is utter ignorance. Or blind arrogance.
Honour your roots – your ancestors, the land that once held you – and don’t forget your teachers.
Lesson 7: Transmute Your Pain to Propel You Further
Alchemy is, after all, the transformation of that which is lesser and limited, into something greater. This especially relates to the pain, setbacks, and rejections we face. All self-respecting Spiritual Alchemists are able to transmute the pain they have experienced to propel them deeper into self-understanding and self-mastery – or propel them further into their worldly manifestations of creative abundance.
Whatever you want, basically. But can you put your ‘pain story’ aside and look for the hidden lesson? What has that setback taught you about who you are? How are you going to do better next?
The convenient thing to do is to hold on to that ‘pain story’ – the betrayal, the rejection, the ‘injustice-done-upon-me-by-another’ – and hang on to the victim consciousness. Because to relinquish the victim-story and transmute the entire experience is difficult! It requires you to find-out how you may have played a part in this equation. It requires you to feel the enormity of the pain, and discover WHY this has happened to you.
All initiations are trials by fire. It is almost always painful. It is never a breeze. Some may take years to surmount, if not a lifetime, to bring to mastery.
More so for the Spiritual Initiate, those who choose to walk the ancient path of Alchemy – ‘el-khemm’, the sacred science of Egypt, once known as the ‘Black Lands’. Scorched through and through by the spiritual fires.
But as much as the Neteru test you – they are also here to support you, hold you safely through the Fires. Sekhmet is the Lion Goddess of Fire and Divine Trials; but Auset is the compassionate Mistress of Magick and Divine Mother to all.
Hold steadfast in your teachings and practices. Rest when you must. Honour the spiritual process as the highest possible aspiration in this present moment.
And through it all, never forget the highest spiritual teaching of all: Humour.
If you can find the funny in all that arises, if you can learn to laugh at your own follies… then nothing in this world can hold you down for long, if at all.
Don’t forget to have fun. A single lifetime may go by in a fleeting moment. So cherish each Solar Return.
Rise Again, better than ever.